This Post Will Soon Be Terrible

So, I totally changed my blog design, and I must say… I am very pleased with it.

The only thing that’s really bothering me currently is the way that some of my older posts have “header” images (they’re no longer really official headers) that don’t really work out with this particular theme.

Because of this, I was going through my archives today and trying to see how much damage my previous posts may have suffered after the big shift. Along the way, I was reading some of the material, because I legitimately do not remember writing about half of what’s there. (oops)

And while reading, a little part of me is proud that I was actually able to put together that much content back then, but a larger part of me is just going “WHYYYYY???!?!?!?!?!!!”

Much of what I’ve made in the past- whether it be opinions, drawings, playlists, or just writing style in general- doesn’t necessarily represent myself today. Even this blog’s theme (before I changed it, of course) might have reflected my personality and interests about a year ago, but things have changed. I’ve found that I prefer things to be more spacious with small pops of color design-wise, and I went through to tweak a bunch of the writing on other pages, as well.

(Sidenote: I’m going through this exact situation with my room, as well. Sixth-Grade-Arya thought it would be a great idea to paint her room a blindingly bright green color. Almost-Eleventh-Grade-Arya does not quite agree.)

I feel like over time, we learn a lot, and through that learning we change a lot. Nothing ever really remains fully grounded, not even the very strongest of opinions; even if a viewpoint remains consistent, over time, the person holding that viewpoint may begin to acknowledge other viewpoints and gain more knowledge on their own opinion… if that makes any sense.

Sometimes, I can feel myself cringing on the inside because why did I ever think that would be a good idea?

(This doesn’t happen with just this blog. This happens with almost everything. I’m sure some of you can relate at least a bit.)

I know for a fact that what I create today will not be fully reflective of who I am in the future, whether that future be ten years from now or in a week.

And in the future, I will probably be regretting my decisions of the past.

But I think that’s okay, because even though it’s awful to think about all the dumb things I’ve done in the past, it happens to everyone. I doubt anyone else would be thinking about my past actions in as much depth as I do.

I think I’m just going to focus on doing what I’m doing today.

“Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

— George Santayana

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