December is a month of ironies.
I used to feel as if I’m obliged to say that winter is my favorite season because it’s the season of my birthday. And yes, I do like winter, but somehow I don’t think it has ever resonated with me as strongly as it does now.
But at the same time I am dreading the full onset of winter, because December means the end of the year is here. This is the time where new year’s resolutions are put into place so that by the time January rolls around, we’re already in the mode of good habits. This is the time where you’re scrambling to get yourself together so that the next year isn’t going to be a total flop, because even though you know deep down that one bad day, week, or month at the start of a year isn’t going to mess up the rest of it, you still somewhat believe it.
As soon as we hit December first, it’s a dash to the finish line whether you know you’re in the race or not. I am always a confused mess at the end of December, especially recently because so much happens in such a short timespan and I always feel as if I will never have the time to do everything I want.
December is uncertainty of what the future holds and that scares me to no end. I am never ready for December and this year I feel as if I am not even ready to be unready for December because being unready for December means that January 2016 is creeping up faster than I could ever imagine.
It’s all just so ironic because we usually look forward to the endgame. It seems like everything we do is for the future, yet at this point in December, I’m shaking in my own skin because I’m nervous about heading into that very future.
Winter is the season when the temperature drops to the extreme that a hot water shower will scald your shoulders and back with a vengeance if you step in too quickly. Temperatures are relative and you always have to be careful not to burn yourself.
But it is also the season when we can enjoy the warmth of blankets and coffee and crackling fires because it’s cold enough outside to let us.
Winter is a time of deterioration, when plants die and animals hibernate to get away from the threatening frigid air- yet it is also a time of resolving to change. A rebirth, if you will.
December is the time to enjoy what’s left of this ride, because we’re just about to get onto the next roller coaster.