So, I totally changed my blog design, and I must say… I am very pleased with it.
The only thing that’s really bothering me currently is the way that some of my older posts have “header” images (they’re no longer really official headers) that don’t really work out with this particular theme.
Because of this, I was going through my archives today and trying to see how much damage my previous posts may have suffered after the big shift. Along the way, I was reading some of the material, because I legitimately do not remember writing about half of what’s there. (oops)
And while reading, a little part of me is proud that I was actually able to put together that much content back then, but a larger part of me is just going “WHYYYYY???!?!?!?!?!!!”
My fish died yesterday.
I came home from school, went to my room, said hi to him as usual, then got to doing homework and other things in the living room. When I finally came back into my own hermit cave, I realized that Ralph wasn’t moving. After tapping the glass gently a couple of times and turning the bowl around, it was confirmed that he was dead.
This makes me sad. Yes, some might find it silly that I’m so attached to my fish, but Ralph was one of my friends. He’s also a mascot of sorts for Wordy&Nerdy, and it’s definitely not the nicest feeling in the world to lose that, y’know?
I’ve only had Ralph since the start of the school year (early August, basically). I knew he wouldn’t live forever- no one does- but there was a part of me that hoped he would manage to survive for longer than the average betta fish.
My lovely Ralph had a wonderful eight-and-a-half months, though, and I’m glad to have had him. Believe it or not, that little guy gave me quite a bit of inspiration.
So, we come to another point: will I change my tagline? After all, I am no longer the girl with the fish, I am one with…out a fish (no way of putting it creatively, really). Will I change my header or the little button on the side of my page?
No, no I will not. Because (prepare yourself for sappiness) Ralph still lives on in my imagination. And from his little fish heaven with all my childhood betta friends, he’ll still provide me with the guidance for what the heck I should put on this blog 😛
I hope to get another fish in the future. He’ll be called Ralph the Second. And he will sit on my bookshelf and serve as an audience to my brainstorming madness while I pace up and down in my room thinking out loud about tons of ideas.
He might just be one fish, but he was still a living creature, and I’ll miss him. But life goes on, and even though I am currently fish-less, Ralph’s legacy shall survive indeed!
Today’s lesson: if life gets tough and things get rough, just keep swimming, my lovely nerdlings. It’ll all be fine eventually.
Carry on bravely as always,
When I look back at the person I was almost four years ago, I want to curl up in a corner and sob.
This is mainly because I used to be a weird little child. Not the kind of weird I am now (because let’s face it, I’m a total weirdo). This kind of weird was more of the embarrassing kind, y’know?
Right up there, above those three little star-thingies, are a few sentences I wrote about two months ago. I was trying to draft up a post but couldn’t come up with anything past what you see right there. Today, I was struggling a bit for inspiration, so I decided to go through my old drafts to find an idea.
I found this, and it got me thinking.
As I’ve said so many times before, things change. People change, too, myself obviously not excluded. Even over the short course of a couple months, a lot can become different, and for me, the previous situation sometimes becomes embarrassing.
I’ll look back and cringe horrifically at the way I acted around new people a year ago. I’ll remember my opinion on llamas in the sixth grade and shudder because I was seriously obsessed (don’t get me wrong, llamas are totally rad, but it was getting slightly unhealthy back then).
But sometimes old memories can turn out to be absolutely fantastic.
About two weeks ago, I wore a dress to school for the first time.
For a lot of high schoolers, this might be completely normal; but you see, I hate dresses.
Or at least I used to.
When I was younger, I prided myself on being a “tomboy” more than anything. A couple of friends and I swore off makeup, dresses, and the color pink. In our third-grader minds, those things were too “girly” and “uncool” for us.
From way back then all the way through eighth grade, most of those things stuck with me. I would complain to everyone humanly possible about dresses and skirts, letting them all know that I was not happy about having to wear something fancy for graduation. I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that everyone around me came to the same conclusion- I am not a “girly girl”, nor will I ever be.
But then, about two weeks ago, I decided I wanted a change.
It wasn’t just a summer. It was the summer.
2011, the year I would go into the sixth grade. It was that time where I was absolutely, completely, positively oblivious to everything happening around me in the world. Those days when my biggest worries were what I would be eating for lunch and who I could have a “play date” with next. The idea of actually having to do WORK to get far in life was pretty foreign to me, and I wasn’t at all worried about middle school.
It was that summer that was the start of something big.