I will miss this, I really will.
Sitting outside on my deck writing, laptop warm against my thighs and notebook pressing into the crook of my elbow. My dog sits near me, chewing on a leaf or something (as he does) as a gentle breeze, barely able to even be called a breeze, touches my shoulder and the tips of the trees’ leaves. I can hear the crickets starting to chirp through my headphones– there’s was a heat stroke in the Bay Area this weekend and the last of it seems to be ebbing away now. The fog is finally starting to roll back in over the mountains to cool down the air, saving my breath.
Here’s a long-overdue video of me dancing around dressed as a pterosaur.
Directed by Barry Jenkins and released in 2016, Moonlight tells in three chapters the story of a young black man growing up and struggling to find himself in a hypermasculine Miami where the majority of the people around him are forcing him into labels and boxes before he is even able to fully find himself. After (terribly) procrastinating for literally months, I watched Moonlight for the first time last Wednesday; since then have watched the movie fully once more, as well as played through various select scenes repeatedly in an attempt to understand and appreciate as much as I can. One of my favorite scenes of the movie is when Juan teaches Little to swim; here’s a hopefully-understandable overview of some of the thoughts I scribbled into my journal while watching this movie. Continue reading
Finished with college apps. Feels good.
It’s been a wild seven months full of self-reflection, overthinking, and (admittedly) a touch of despair. Though my writing has been consistent in my journals, I found myself easing up a bit on the blog posts because all of my energy had somehow funneled itself into polishing up those essays. Honestly, the entire process was pretty interesting; sure, I was fairly stressed at some points, but I think it forced me to look at myself in a different light that I think ultimately helped me become more confident in myself. Part of me also thinks that if I were to re-apply to places now, the essays I would write would be very different just because the whole process changed me as a person in many ways– but I’m really glad that I wrote those particular essays to change me in the first place, if that makes any sense. Continue reading
i. I’m walking and I’m at peace despite the world blaring outside Continue reading
When I get back from school, I don’t take off my shoes until I’ve walked my dog. We venture up and down through our hilly neighborhood, stopping occasionally while he sniffs at various bushes along the sidewalk. Sometimes we run, and my lungs will be screaming for air after reaching the top of a steep slope, but the rush of moving so quickly is worth it. Continue reading